Glow – Audiobook

Glow is a mysterious new drug popping up on the rave scene in London. Raf has a rare disorder called non-24-hour-sleep-wake, and guards the transmitter of pirate radio station. Raf’s friend has vanished. Urban Foxes are acting strange. And corporate conspiracies are afoot.

As much as I’ve mentioned the fact that I know when I won’t like a book regardless of how much other people rave about it, it works the other way too; sometimes I know I’ll like a book even though I keep hearing negative comments about it. And so it was with Glow, which just keep popping up on my horizon.

The biggest problem with Glow is the intricate plot. It’s too much work to follow. And that’s where all the negativity lies. But there are so many elements that make a good read, and all the other bits made Glow worthwhile, for me at least.

For a start, Ned Beauman books always seem to be brimming with fascinating topics both fictional and factual.

Then there’s the backdrop; Illegal raves, DJs, mysterious street drugs, and pirate radio stations. Ok you got me!

And though not necessarily a great story teller, in this case at least, Beauman is a fantastic writer.

So even though I had issues with following the plot and even bigger issues with believing parts of the plot and motives of the protagonist, those three elements above were enough to make it a really enjoyable read for me.

Beaumont also created a great Glow Spotify playlist which inspired the novel.

The Horde

I wrote this article for the last year, but it never got published. Seems very topical again…

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I’ve been to the Mater Hospital A&E about six times in the last year or so. Either accompanying my mother, who had to be checked for suspected blood clots several times, or attending for a few unlucky accidents I’ve had myself this year. During the first visit with my mother, I was outraged, that at nearly eighty years of age, and in a wheelchair, she had to spend the whole night in the waiting room. It was fourteen hours before she got to lie on a trolley. I have to laugh at the fact that a lot of people are angered by the idea of spending the night on a trolley. What a luxury. Really. A trolley is basically a hospital bed, on wheels, usually located in the sanctuary of the emergency ward, compared to a night amid the chaos, discomfort and endless waiting in the A&E waiting room.

2012-09-28 05.12.57

These days I know what to expect, and with a resigned sigh, I’ll start packing my A&E survival pack, 100% sure that I will spend the entire night in the waiting room. For this you will need:

  • Kindle/iPod/Phone/Tablet/Chargers
  • Fruit/Sambos/Flask of tea
  • Change for vending machine, the contents of which will slowly transform overnight from unhealthy rubbish into the finest cuisine in the land
  • Ideally; earplugs also. By about 6:30am you will want to smash the TV in. I once sat through about six agonising episodes of “Traffic cops”. Being forced to listen to someone else’s loud TV is my idea of hell. Unfortunately, going anywhere near the buttons on the TV will undoubtedly draw the attention of THE HORDE.

Along with your well-packed survival bag, you will have some missions to accomplish:

MISSION #1: Do not draw attention to your presence & avoid interaction and eye contact with all members of THE HORDE.

Who are THE HORDE? They are the people who live in the A&E waiting room. Their faces change but underneath they are the same bunch of people every single time.

  • Loud disruptive abusive violent shouty person(s), often racist.
  • Alcoholic(s) who reek of wee, falling off the seats all night, gaining more injuries than they arrived with
  • Lots of random homeless people and/or junkies who all know each other, and know the A&E drill inside out
  • A gaggle of drunk girls*, with an amazing capacity for non-stop mindless chat
  • And if you’re especially lucky: a prisoner handcuffed to a cop or Mountjoy screw

*I’m not being sexist, I’m stating a fact, they’re present, every single time.

These are the members of THE HORDE. They never leave, and slowly multiply overnight until you are the last person there.

So you better revise your survival bag: leave those earplugs at home, you need to keep your wits about you…

MISSION #2 is to try and hear above the clamour, for the beautiful sound of your own name. Your ears will perk. Your heart will soar. You will be transported by an angel, from purgatory, past the St. Peter security guard, and through the pearly plastic gates to the emergency wards, even if only briefly. My last night there consisted of this loop:

  1. Hear my name, eventually…rejoice!
  2. Get patched up and returned to hell
  3. Slowly disintegrate into a pool of blood (gory pics from a week later)
  4. Repeat, until the plastic surgeon eventually arrived in the morning and saved me from THE HORDE just in time: they had all started shuffling towards me slowly, sniffing the air with hunger at the scent of fresh blood wafting through the air.

I wonder just how long all this has been going on, as I have a vague memory of some childhood injury where my Dad insisted on frantically running into A&E, carrying me in a blood spattered sheet, in a bid to avoid the dreaded all-night wait. It was probably a paper cut. Were THE HORDE waiting for me that night? I’ll never know.

I also wonder just where all the rich people go for their emergencies? I imagine the Beacon in Sandyford is a very different experience. Though for one injury I managed to go to the Mater Rapid Injury Clinic in Smithfield. And in comparison, it is unfathomable that these two places are run under the same name. They couldn’t be more different.

I got talking to one of the nurses about all this in the Mater A&E recently and of course they are just as frustrated at the disruption caused to the system. He said that every single unconscious drunk in Dublin gets picked up by an ambulance and dropped off at A&E. He also told me that in the UK these people are much more likely these days, to be sent to a drunk tank to sober up or sleep it off. This completely frees up A&E so that genuinely sick and seriously injured people can be seen more quickly and don’t have to spend the whole night in pain surrounded by the chaos of THE HORDE.

Books of the year 2014

Confirmed: When I stick to themes that I already know like I’m usually happy: New, fresh, contemporary, darkly comic, dysfunctional, character-based.

Reconfirmed: When I try books everyone raves about, which I’ve a gut feeling aren’t for me I’m nearly always disappointed: Mostly old classics & historical novels.

Biggest reading discovery this year: The realisation that “Literary Fiction” is totally my bag. I’d always associated the phrase with dusty old classics that I don’t generally get on with but have only come to learn that it encompasses the kind of contemporary life affirming novelists that I love: Franzen, Tartt, Eugenides etc.

Anyway here’s my top ten of the year. 1-9 aren’t in any particular order, but again this year I’ve a clear winner for number 1 spot.

10. Swimming Home – Deborah Levy (Kindle)
Is it a bear? is it a plane? No! It’s Kitty fucking Finch and she’s in your swimming pool.
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9. 11/22/63 – Stephen King (Audiobook)
I abandoned King for years and just came back to him this year. He can still spin a damn good yarn.

8. Under the Skin – Michel Faber (Audiobook)
Fascinating movie and book. Both well worth experiencing for different reasons. I’ll be reading more Faber this year.
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7. The Things They Carried – Tim O’Brien (Audiobook)
The writing was so sharp, and dripping with a life experience that few of us could imagine, and even fewer of us could so expertly depict.
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6. Gulp – Mary Roach (Audiobook)
Mary Roach is such an entertaining writer she could write about your digestive tract and it’d still be amazing. Which is what she did.

5. The Rosie Project – Graeme Simsion (Kindle)
I just stumbled across one day and bought it on a whim, I had no idea it was one of those mega famous books. Good fun. I genuinely laughed out loud a few times.

4. Sharp objects – Gillian Flynn (Kindle)
Much better, darker, and less cartoony than Gone Girl.

3. The Guts – Roddy Doyle (Audiobook)
Gimmicky yet still brilliant sequel to The Commitments.

2. We are all completely beside ourselves – Karen Joy Fowler (Audiobook)
I always seem to enjoy books that feature quirky families. And it doesn’t get much quirkier than a girl who grows up with a chimpanzee for a sister.
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1. The Gargoyle – Andrew Davidson (Audiobook)
It’s hard not to hear about a good movie. But I’m often amazed at the volume of amazing books that you never hear anything about and are so easy to miss. The premise of The Gargoyle is based around an old trope; is a character insane or has she actually {insert-impossible-fantastical-truth}. But that doesn’t take away from how great this book is. I was hooked from the start: a porn-star crashes his car during an hallucinatory drink and drugs binge then get’s horribly burned alive in his car, which is described in great detail, and that’s just the first page. What follows is a delicately written portrayal of a relationship between a man coming to terms with severe burn injuries and an unhinged woman obsessed with carving Gargoyles who tells him stories about their supposed relationships during their past lives.

The Circle (Audiobook)

The Circle is Google, Facebook, Apple and Twitter rolled into 1 and turned up to 11. It’s a parody of social media and it’s a parody of society in general. Or at least the portion of society that is addicted to screens and social media, and the internet (guilty!). And it’s a very tongue-in-cheek, and very current, commentary on privacy. It’s also really good fun.

I think you need the right approach to enjoy it though. I often get annoyed with books that don’t have authentic characters. But if the main characters in this book behaved authentically, then the whole story would fall flat.

It’s mostly a great, fun read. But it hits a few bumps along the way: Many conversations in The Circle are in the form of an interrogation between the protaganist, Mae, and other employees, behind a wall of passive aggression and office politics. These conversations are of course supposed to be grating but it got a bit much and the grating really ramped up when the whole book turned into a hi tech version of The Truman show. All the dialogue from then on was purely for-the-cameras falseness. And there was no reprieve from this.

But on the whole really good fun that really takes the piss of hi-tech hammock companies.

1984 v2.0

My year with a Fitbit Flex

What’s a Fitbit Flex?

A fancy pedometer, that you wear permanently, which counts your steps, and syncs with apps to show you nice visual stats, and gives you a surprisingly rewarding 5 lights when you reach your target.

Is that it?

You can use it to track sleep. But this is done manually and more often than not, you’ll forget, and eventually not bother at all. You can also use the app to manually track food and water intake but I grew tired of that very quickly.

So what’s it good for?

It really encourages you to walk more. 10,000 steps a day is the default setting on the Fitbit (about 5 miles). Wearing a Fitbit also switches your brain into seeing any potential walk as a good thing rather than a drag. Now, I’ll happily walk the dog, go to the shops, take a stairs instead of a lift, or walk to a shop on the other side of town during lunch.

How was the honeymoon period?

Typically, I got a bit obsessive about reaching my daily target, which sometimes involved nonsense like walking around a coffee table last thing at night until my wrist lit up. Or going for a quick walk around the block before going to bed. Or walking from room to room and up and down the stairs.

And after that?

If you engage with other Fitbit users, or sites, you’ll notice lots of encouragement to increase your daily goal after you’ve got used to the Fitbit. 12,500 steps a day or 15,000 steps a day, or even 20,000 steps a day. I spent a few months on 15,000 (I think, maybe less). And this is where it became a real pain. It involved a quick walk before work, then walking for the entirety of lunch, and then another big walk in the evening. The whole day revolved around walking. I spent a whole summer walking during lunch instead of reading in a sunny summer park, or sitting by a canal reading, which I adore doing during the summer. (I listen to Audiobooks while I walk of course, but I still love actually reading).

ALSO – I noticed zero benefit. I stopped running for a good few months (after a couple of accidents) but continued all this walking and I really noticed that I started feeling like shit again, always very lethargic, fatigued, and low on energy, which is how I feel when I don’t exercise regularly. And walking all day did nothing for me compared to running. So my verdict, at least for me personally, is that anything above the 10k steps is really not worth it. I’m gone back to the default 10,000 steps a day. And that’s easy enough to reach without letting it completely take over my day. And lunch is now more reasonably divided into eating/reading/walking.


So, a year later, I still like my Fitbit Flex, but it’s more of a gentle reminder to make sure I get a minimum of exercise every day, especially at weekends. Anything more than that can feck right off. The honeymoon period is well and truly over.


Update: September 2015. I went through a period of not bothering with it much. And not wearing it some days. But I’ve been having a lot of trouble with restless legs syndrome recently. So I’ve been making an effort again to do a bare minimum of 10,000 steps a day… but I don’t obsess over it.

Under The Skin

The Book

I’ve been meaning to write this review for a while but the book is a Kindle Daily Deal today. So get it while it’s cheap.

The Movie

I think sometimes, that people look in the wrong places for Art. Film was snubbed for years as a lower art form, and even now, I still think it’s overlooked to some degree. It doesn’t get spoken of in the same terms as Hirst, Koons, Basquiat, Gormley, etc yet I think Under The Skin is the most amazing work of art I’ve witnessed in years. Some of the scenes are absolutely breathtaking, though quite eerie, and it really does get under your skin. Admittedly the plot wavered in places but it was still a stunning piece of work overall that left me thinking about it for days, and I can’t wait to watch it again.

The Audiobook

I never read a book if I’ve already seen the movie but I didn’t even know the book existed beforehand, and I was so intrigued by the movie that I wanted to know more, even though I loved the ambiguity of the movie. It turns out that the book is very different in detail and plot and stands on its own completely. They are almost different episodes of the same basic premise. And the book really struck me as an allegory for the carnivore/vegetarian debate. Considering it is in effect about meat, the title, perfectly works on many levels.

And while the movie has some of the most visually striking images I’ve seen in years, the audiobook contains some of the most haunting sounds I’ve heard in an audiobook.

Highly recommended. Watch it. Listen to it. Read it.

Under the Skin

The Bone Clocks (Audiobook)

Some books really seem to narrow the gap between short stories, novellas, and novels. Take George Saunders’ Tenth of December, the off-kilter dystopian world these short stories are set in give it a combined narrative that makes it seem very much in novel territory. And The Bone Clocks (like Cloud Atlas), is almost like a series of novellas with some character overlap. There is a thin line between the form of Tenth of December and The Bone Clocks. And as is often the case with short story books, I had very different reactions to each of these stories.

The first story in The Bone Clocks introduces us to Holly who is the common thread throughout all the stories. It’s a relatively straight-laced introduction that has much in common with Mitchell’s nostalgic eighties-twinged coming-of-age novel Black Swan Green, and I’m a total sucker for that whole that bag of tricks.

As Holly gets older, we’re introduced to new characters in her life. One section is about a posh con boy she has a fling with. Next we meet her husband, a war junky journalist. Ok – so far so good. And then not:

Next up is a very long section featuring an old whinge-bag novelist which I could not wait to end. It was only towards the end that I recognised the audiobook narrator of this section. I looked him up, and indeed, he narrated The 100-Year-Old Man Who Climbed Out the Window and To Say Nothing of the Dog. I pretty much hated both of those books. I find his style of narration incredibly irritating and it’s only in retrospect that I realise my great dislike of these books probably had more to do with the narrator than the writing, particularly as I so suddenly hated this chapter compared to the others. That’s interesting. I didn’t realise a narrator could sway a book that much. On top of that, this section has no great relevance to the overall story. It could be very easily skipped.

Ok annoying narrator out of the way. What’s next? Oh great. Full on, up-to-eleven, fantasy mode. Sigh. My eyes glaze over when I hear too many gobbledy-gook made-up words. And then made worse by borrowing from a new age supernatural world of woo that I can’t abide. Check out this guff: “Darnock shuts his eyes, opens his chakra eye and channels the ember red light of the shaded way at the throat of the holy of holies. The Blind Cathar is no longer dreaming.” This section was drenched in this psychobabble, and halfway through, I realised I hadn’t the slightest clue what was going on. And had to go back to the start and make an extra effort pay attention. And lost the will to live by the end of it.

Alas, I really enjoyed the final chapter, set in a post-apocalyptic rural Ireland. And no new age fantasy guff. So it was great to end on a good note, and as a whole, my overall experience was nudged into thinking this was a great 4-star read. There were a few VERY dodgy bits for me, but overall, Mitchell is still a very reliable read.

My month of Madness (Audiobook)


This audiobook was going cheap in an Audible sale. So I just nabbed it without looking into it much and got off to a bad start because I’d assumed it was about mental illness, and the whole style was so flippant, that I started to find it quite irritating. My fault, not the book. Though the title is quite misleading for anyone who has decided to read it without any background info.

What it’s actually about is one woman’s experience with a rare autoimmune reaction in the brain called Anti-NMDA receptor antibody encephalitis. Her experiences are a bit mental! but have little to do with mental illness, though some of the symptoms were similar to psychosis, and schizophrenia. Once I realised it wasn’t about mental illness, I could enjoy it for what it was, and it is an an interesting story. 

It also clearly depicts how easy it is to fall prey to negligence, ignorance, and misdiagnosis at the hands of the medical profession, and how sheer luck can sometimes play such a huge part in getting the right diagnosis and treatment.

I also love to coming across nuggets of information that completely dispel mythical tales of woo. In this case the symptoms that she suffered, seen through the wrong eyes, could be perceived as a demonic possession.

Science:1, Superstitious Bullshit: 0.

We are all completely beside ourselves (Audiobook)

I really enjoyed this. In fact I always seem to enjoy books that feature quirky families. And it doesn’t get much quirkier than a girl who grows up with a chimpanzee for a sister. Karen Joy Fowler is a very smart writer. There is much discourse here on psychology and memory. And there are a lot of books in the last decade that deal with similar topics, but this one is wrapped around an interesting story with great characters also, and I just knew from the first page that I was in good hands, and me and Karen Joy Fowler were on the same page, and that’s the main thing.


John Braine – The Vodi (Paperback)

I’ve read a couple of John Braine books just for the namesake. But The Vodi sits just below my favourite book, The Wasp Factory, in a top ten by John Harrison*. Funnily I just did a search for this top ten and came to a post on this blog that I’d forgotten about.  I knew I started this book ages ago, but didn’t realise it was about 5 years ago! Not being as convenient as Audiobooks or Kindle books, it only got read when I was sick or on holidays. But I finished it at last!

The Vodi is an imaginary race of childhood creatures conjured up between two school friends, Tom and Dick (amazingly there’s a Harry in the book too), which have a  continued presence into their adult life by representing the bearers of bad luck. You know the way some some people get the best jobs despite being incompetent, and the best girls despite being dickheads? Well that’s the essence of this novel.

Dick is as much the protagonist of this book as every Country & Western song; he’s lost his youth, his job, his health and his girl. And he spends dark days in a  hospital bed suffering with TB and damning the Vodi for taking his life away.

For someone who doesn’t get on too well with older books, I found this quite enjoyable and interesting, and it dated extremely well for a book that’s 55 years old – my copy still has the price on the front of Three and Sixpence or something like that, I’m not sure.. .answers on a postcard please Three Shillings and Six Pence.

4/5 stars

*though I’ve no idea who John Harrison is.