Hallelujah! It’s official. The final piece of documentation has arrived. “Dear Mr. Braine, I wish to inform you that your request to cease from membership of the Catholic Church by a formal act of defection has been recognised”.

I feel I should mark the occasion. Bookend the event with a special ceremony. An unwrite of passage. I know, I’ll buy an uncommunion suit and call around to my friends and neighbours, giving them cards with money inside so they can feel part of the celebration.

Or maybe just hold on to the money and drop into Cumiskey’s for a pint.

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