Breaking news: stuff that looks like normal people!

Reports have started coming in of objects that look like regular people. We don’t yet know if it’s some crazy coincidence or just a whole new way of thinking. Jessie Swinson, of Milwalkee US took a bite of her Kit Kat when she suddenly noticed an image of a man with a beard. “I showed it to Jed and said now if that isn’t the spit of Jake from the post office than I don’t like to suck molasses!” – “And you don’t think it looks like Jesus?” we asked. “No no no, it’s Jake alright. Any it’d just be damned stupid to call every image of a bearded man Jesus.”

And in a similar story, Mary Heath-Vehorn bought this watermelon at the Farmer’s Market in Asheville, North Carolina. It wasn’t until she got it home that she noticed her cousin Joshua right there on the melon. “Other people have suggested that it’s Jesus to me but I don’t know I mean I never met this Jesus guy, but cousin Joshua passed on recently, and I think it’s his way of making up for never visiting me.”

Meanwhile, some morons in Limerick, Ireland are congregating around a tree stump that hardly looks like a woman, never mind ‘Our Lady’. Shopkeeper Séamus Hogan says “People have been coming from Kerry and Clare to see this tree, which we believe shows a clear outline of Our Lady,”.

Jesus wept.

  • Reply Stewart Curry

    July 9, 2009, 10:15 am

    Last time the country was in the crapper it was moving statues, which was dumb but at least it was all supernatural and woooooo-ooo-ooo freaky shit.

    Now we have … tree stumps. That look a tiny tiny bit like a religious thing. Don’t these people know they can make their own with a bit of wood and a chisel? Like the most famous carpenter of them all?

  • Reply Twenty Major

    July 9, 2009, 10:29 am

    It’s no wonder we let the church get away with so much in this country when a pack of simpletons like that think a tree stump has anything to do with their lady.


  • Reply Xbox4NappyRash

    July 9, 2009, 5:39 pm

    We really truly are a nation of clowns.

    Was just talking about the moving statues carry on the other day. I was seven, ‘our lady’ nearly landed me in hospital with pneumonia.

    Rathkeale though, what can you expect…

  • Reply John

    July 10, 2009, 10:10 am

    Yep it really is bad enough that people think anything resembling a human has to be a religious icon, without people thinking that anything *vaguely* resembling a human has to be a religious icon. Oh – I just summarised my post.

    Yep, morons.

  • Reply Xbox4NappyRash

    July 10, 2009, 10:13 am

    I personally think it’s more in the image of Myra Hindley.

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