Ever play the fat or pregnant game? A young woman stepped onto the Luas this morn, and looked around for an empty seat with a bit more hunger than your average Daniel Dayer. So I glanced at her tummy, hmmm neither fat nor pregnant, back to the book. An exasperated sigh made me look up again. Was she or wasn’t she? I couldn’t decide. She was wearing one of those currently fashionable tops that just don’t help the cause at all. Not quite maternity wear but similar enough to confuse me further. You have to be careful in situations as dangerous as these, offer your seat to a woman that’s not quite old enough, or fat but not pregnant and her laser eyes will weld you to your seat. But there was something in her eyes that made me think there was something in her tummy, so I played the safe bet and got up without saying a word to her. Others glanced at the seat, she growled, they wimpered, she sat.
Maybe pregnant ladies should wear a sticker that says “Baby not bulge“, or “Bun in the oven, not in the mouth“. But then I’d have to wear a sticker that says “My feet get very sore when I stand for more than a minute, and keep getting sorer, I really should look into it again but I did go to a doctor last year and she told me to walk around on my tippy toes for ten minutes every day. But I actually think she was drunk and taking the piss.